When in Doubt, get your Ball back out on the Fairway!

Kieran Mahoney

6/10/2008

Since this is my first column for GoGolfNW.com, I figure I should introduce myself. And maybe the best way to tell you who I am is give you a short list of observations on the game of golf complied over the past four years as a caddie at an area course.

Now I’m no golf expert, I cut my teeth at a par-3 course in my early twenties and I currently play to a 13 handicap. I’ve got an inside-out swing and fight the driver on every tee box during a round. My short game saves my life and my 60 degree lob-wedge is my best friend.

I’m a much better caddy than golfer, and I’ve been on the bag for about 200 rounds for a wide array of people and talent levels. I’ve seen more trees than fairways hit, more wedges skulled than greens in regulation, more three putts than sandy-pars. I’ve witnessed two balls hit each other in the air, a green hit after the ball skipped across the lake and a hole-in-one.

My list of observations is just that; a list of tendencies and patterns that we golfers seem to fit into.

#1. Single digit handicappers hit greens in regulation. They don’t necessarily boom long drives down the fairway, they just hit an iron with accuracy.

#2. The least skilled clubs in the bag are wedges and the putter. Bogies and doubles are usually a result of duffed chips and three putts.

#3. When in doubt, get your ball back out on the fairway. I can’t tell you how many golfers attempt shots through or over trees and bushes, only to have the ball travel about ten feet.

#4. Excessive alcohol consumption is not the best thing for your golf game. An intoxicated golfer threw two wedges up a tree and asked me if I could climb up and get them.

#5. The biggest mistake by double-digit handicappers is simply taking the club back too fast in the backswing. Check your grip and slow it down to get your shoulders, hands and hips all working together.

#6. Women will not give another player a putt, even if it’s five inches from the hole. As the wind stung my face and my cold hands gripped the flagstick, my foursome of women putt, mark and putt yet again, all from 5 feet.

#7. Golfers are the friendliest people in the world. Strangers from Canada and Texas are high-fiving each other on the green after playing only a few holes.

#8. Nobody likes being around the guy who swears after every other swing and is a total grouch the entire round. These types of golfers are the worst to caddy for; I had one guy jab his putter into my ribs after he pushed a putt by the hole despite me telling him not to give the cup up.

Take what you will from it, feel free to disagree or play a few rounds and put your own list together.

As I caddy and play the wonderful game of golf this summer, I will hopefully entertain and enlightened you with stories and observations from my experiences on the bag.

Until next time, remember that when doubt, get your ball back out on the fairway!

Kieran Mahoney is a longtime forecaddy at The Coeur d’Alene Resort Golf Course along with an English teacher in Spokane.